Someone once convinced Ben Skillings to improve his life and enroll at USM. He now repays the favor to anyone who approaches him, looking for help moving their life forward.
Skillings, 28, is a communications major and the President of the Phoenix Network at USM, an organization consisting of a network of mentors and advocates who support those currently or formerly in foster care and anyone homeless, incarcerated, or recently resettled.
The Phoenix Network helped Skillings in his decision to further his education at USM in 2007.
“From about 13 to 22 I was on probation for various minor offenses-what some would call civil annoyances, all having to do with drugs and alcohol,” he said. “I was on probation and in and out of jail for quite some time. After the age of 22 I began to get straight,” he added. But it wasn’t until one more stretch in jail at age 23 that he finally began to turn his life around. “I made it through probation for the first time ever after that,” he said.
Skillings had seen his friend and Phoenix mentor Omar Abdul-Malik’s life change for the better.
Abdul-Malik had spent time in jail before meeting Bill Dickinson, who founded the Smith Society in Santa Cruz, California. He moved to Maine and teamed up with Abdul-Malik to create the Phoenix Society in the same vein as the Smith Society.
Abdul-Malik brought Skillings to the Multicultural Center at USM in 2006 to discuss Skillings’ future. “I noticed how happy the kids around me were. The kids that were graduating were moving out of state, off doing bigger and better things and I was making 12 bucks an hour working at Spring Harbor and Shalom House,” said Skillings.
After a year of convincing, he enrolled at USM. He knew he wanted to change his life but didn’t always know how to do it. He tried joining the Army around the age of 18, but his arrest record kept him out. Skillings said while he made the decision to change a long time before he did, “it’s just there are those fleeting moments where I forgot the importance of it and found myself in trouble again. I think the question is ‘am I going to continue to make that decision on a day-to-day basis?’ And so far today, it’s yes.”
Skillings is now the one behind the desk talking to others in need. The Phoenix Network at USM has around a dozen members including six USM students. It has elected officers, but Skillings said the organization is more “fluid” with a broad network of mentors and supporters. They don’t advertise for their service but instead rely on word of mouth for referrals.
“I have contacts in the community – different counselors, therapists. My mom is an ADD coach. She runs across some kids who are at that age where they might need some extra assistance and guidance. I sit down with them and we spend some time and figure out what they want to do. If they want to improve and move on to bigger and bettter things, that’s when we can help them. We get referrals that way, when they get ready to move on. Sometimes they’re a little shy or fearful about entering the university or the adult world. We bring someone to them and say, ‘I’ve been there before. Let’s go and take this walk together for a little awhile until you feel comfortable enough to do it on your own’,” said Skillings.
He said college is not right for everyone, so they help them any way they can. “A lot of times we’ll introduce them to a recruiter. Sometimes their SAT scores aren’t that good. Sometimes they don’t even want to think about college. They just want a job and the military offers that opportunity. They can get a job right away and afterwards if they want to go to college they have the money to pay for it, said Skillings”
Skillings hopes to graduate in 2011, if he stays in the communication program, or 2012 if he switches majors to social work.
Right now Skillings is helping a man in thirties from Libya. Skillings and the Phoenix Network are working on getting the man’s transcripts translated and mailed to USM so he can enroll.
Although he’s a mentor himself, Skillings continues to receive support from those around him. While working at an assisted living home, he met author Alice James Mead. She encouraged him to spend at least 20 minutes a day writing on his own. He has aways been interested in writing and has had a few articles published, most recently in “Employment Times.” He is currently writing a memoir about his life experiences.