The military is not a subject I would particularly like to tackle. There are all these branches, all these rules and regulations, and basically a lot of things I have no idea about. I mean, I guess I have ideas. but there are some things one just can’t totally get unless one has had some firsthand experience. Something I will never truly and fully experience is being in the military. Something else… is being gay in the military.
This is a touchy subject. Some might ask, why join a group that hates you? Some might not believe that hate is the problem. Some might wonder how painful it must be to sacrifice your true self for a career you love, while others might just avoid this whole topic entirely. Usually the latter would be me, but the fact that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) hasn’t been repealed yet is quite the cause for concern.
President Obama- the repeal is just a piece of paper. Sign it!
I know there is worry about same-sex sailors or soldiers or pilots having to sleep together. And I know that there are a lot of very dedicated and religious people who get upset at the idea of nationally recognizing some LGBT rights. But what about the individuals who make up the commands, the teams? The ones who agree to fight for the United States, and fight together? Although uniqueness isn’t known to be entirely encouraged in the military, no one can deny that its members come from all sorts of different backgrounds; some are young, some are old, some are natives, some are immigrants. From all over the country, with a huge mix of ethnicities, cultures and lives, how can the higher ups not acknowledge that with such an assortment of people, some are bound to be gay?
With DADT intact, not only are human rights denied, but the teams making up the machine lose strength. When a group’s leader has to walk around watching every word and every move for fear of being fired, how much time and energy is lost that could have been spent doing more leading? And for every member of every group that doesn’t feel relatable when the others are talking about their families, how much time and energy is lost avoiding personal questions (or making up answers) and feeling unnecessarily dishonest and heartbreakingly misplaced? What could the military as a whole possibly be gaining that wouldn’t be worth losing for the honesty, completion and betterment of all the groups and individuals who work for it?
Sure, perhaps if DADT was repealed then soon enough Congress would be forced into national gay marriage rights and before we all knew it not just the country but even the macho military would be frolicking around in rainbows and leather and everyone would stop reproducing and Christianity would disappear. Sure, maybe. Until we see if that happens, what about all the neglected and frustrated service members hiding in their closets? What about all the team players watching their backs around those who are supposed to be on the same team? Why is someone’s personal choice of romance anyone else’s business? If the men at the top are that worried about it, they could just make sex between roommates a reason for termination. The distractions there are maybe worth examining (although let’s not forget the fact that there are plenty of straight couples in which both people are service members).
To rob people of what should be a human right – to share stories, to bond with their peers, to be honest and to find support, especially when one needs it the very most – is just cruel and indecent. When people are deployed and missing their family, friends and the comfort of home, all they need is support. But how supported can anyone feel when they have to worry that with one breakdown or accidental word they could lose everything they have worked for in their career? Until the military recognizes these pains as a problem, tension will continue to live in the hearts, minds, and bodies of thousands of our service members, while still others will unfortunately remain the “cousin from Wisconsin.”
(There is a new HBO series called “Do Ask, Do Tell” that I would like to advertise a little. I will try not to judge this as some sort of gay patriarchy – there wasn’t even ONE woman in the preview for it – but try to understand that perhaps since the military is a pretty male-dominated field they are just trying to appeal to a certain audience. And very sadly, the inclusion of women in the preview might put that audience off (which does not, by any means, make the exclusion okay). I’m just going to cross my fingers that HBO doesn’t leave out lesbians, and that the show is as powerful as the preview implied!)