USM remembers Lavinia

Those close to her had just begun to dare to hope that Lavinia Gelineau was pulling her life back together. A year after her husband, Christopher Gelineau, died in Iraq, Lavinia was planning a return to college to become a French teacher. She had spent a long year in mourning, at an intensity that never seemed to diminish, and protesting the Iraq war. Then, last week, her life ended abruptly in fresh tragedy: Lavinia was found dead, strangled by her estranged father, Nicolae Onitiu, who then killed himself in what police say is an act of domestic violence meant to hurt his estranged wife and Lavinia’s mother.

“She was finding a way after a long period of grieving to emerge into a new life and to make some sense of the tragedy that had befallen her,” said Andrea Thompson-McCall, USM’s Interfaith Chaplin. On Friday, April 7, Westbrook police found her in her apartment, strangled by her father, Nicolae Onitiu.

Lavinia was well known and loved on-campus. “She genuinely cared deeply about both knowledge and values,” said Nancy Gish, professor of English, who had Lavinia in classes. “She was the kind of student one loves to teach, loves to have.” Lavinia was an alumna of the School of Business, and the first president of the Student Marketing Association. She and Christopher met at Portland Hall, where she lived and he worked, and three years ago, they were married in Lavinia’s native Romania.

If Christopher’s death was tragic, Lavinia’s was heartbreaking. And her end wasn’t unique: fully half of last year’s murders were domestic-violence related.

“We must take notice,” said Gish, quoting the final lines of Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman.” “I feel everybody at USM must take notice, to be here, and to experience this tragedy.”

Many in the USM community first met Lavinia during the outpouring of support when her husband was killed on April 20. Christopher was the first Maine casualty in Iraq. “My first acquaintance with her,” said Thompson-McCall, “was of someone grieving deeply and exhibiting great strength.”

She continued: “It is my experience that death takes our breath away. The reason for that is: Life is so precious.” She said this is a chance for students and faculty, as they are grieving, to put their energies to good works. “Maybe it’s time to do work around domestic violence,” she suggested.

“This tragedy allows me to see how USM can come together as a community that cares and supports those who spend time here,” said President Richard Pattenaude in an e-mail. “We should take heart that Lavinia’s time with us was a time of support and friendship for her.”

A service for Lavinia was held at Woodfords Congregational Church last Saturday.

Lavinia is survived by her mother, Iuliana Onitiu, who was living with Lavinia, her brother Marius Onitiu of Sibiu, living in Romania, her mother-in-law Victoria Chicoine of Starksboro, Vermont, and father-in-law John Gelineau of Eden, Vermont.

Executive Editor John Bronson contributed to this story.