The Bicycle Coalition of Maine sells bumper stickers for bicycles. Of the 32 bicycles parked on USM’s Portland Campus last Thursday at 2:00 P.M., two displayed one of these stickers. An analytical, environmental sticker attached to a well-maintained commuter bicycle read: “Question Internal Combustion.” There was nothing at all stodgy about the expression attached to the other bicycle – “Put something exciting between your thighs.” Combine the two sentiments and you might wonder why more of this exciting stuff isn’t occurring between all the internal combustion going on in Portland. Why weren’t there more bicycles parked on campus in the brilliant sunlight of this gorgeous, clear September day?
Let’s start by questioning each premise. (This is, after all, a university environment.) Was last Thursday a beautiful day on the Portland campus? At least from the seat of a bicycle, slipping almost silently through the dry, fall air, the day was unquestionably incredible. The comfortable smell of pine needles warming in the early afternoon sun is a treat at bicycling speeds. Roadside New England asters pass by in delightful, rich blue focus. Stopping to talk to a passing friend without stopping the already congested traffic is easy to do on a bicycle. Even beyond the meteorology, it was a beautiful day, especially if you weren’t sitting in a car, stuck in traffic, looking for a parking space.
Do we need to question internal combustion? If Maine’s highest-in-the-nation childhood asthma rate, the scientific consensus on global climate change and resource wars don’t give one pause, what might? All transportation choices have their costs, but the bill for internal combustion adds up to trouble even as engines burn less fuel per mile. Along with the global, financial, and public health issues, cars also have more mundane costs one can avoid or reduce by bicycling. The bicycle requires no tedious, toxic refueling stops. There are no high insurance premiums. Cycling comes without monthly payments to worry about. Owning a bicycle doesn’t mean working extra days each month to cover costs that never seem to stop. As an alternative to owning a car, the very use of a bicycle gives the rider the possibility of more “work-free” days to enjoy each month. Most Americans have made lifestyle decisions that put the car in the driver’s seat but cars no longer need to be built with internal combustion engines that make us dependent on foreign oil. Prototype fuel-cell powered cars are already on the road. Solar-electric cars “fill-up” their batteries as the cars sit in the sun. It is time for lots of questions.
Are bicycles exciting? Whatever turns you on. The act of bicycling itself is another matter. Speeding along on this amazingly efficient human-powered machine, wind on your face and pedals spinning is a thrill. “Exciting” should not to be confused with “dangerous.” Of the 150,000 people killed in accidents in the U.S. each year, fewer than 1000 are killed while bicycling. Comparative risk assessments suggest that cycling is actually less risky than living! On a risk per mile, per hour, or per trip basis, bicycling is probably safer than driving a car. On an injuries per hour basis, bicycling is more than 10 times safer than soccer, basketball or football.
Is bicycling sexy? What’s sexy is, to varying degrees, culturally defined. In America this suggests the answer depends in part on what and how much the bicyclist is wearing and even on what company made the bike. In spite of our near desperate fascination with clothes and brands, most of us will admit that what’s really important is the health and attitude of what’s under the clothes. Bicycling is a marvelously healthy activity. The health benefits of bicycling reduce the risk of dying of five of the top ten most frequent causes of death. Studies demonstrate that vigorous, fit, healthy individuals almost always have significant advantages when it comes to sex. At the very least, fit humans can probably do more of it (both bicycling and sex). More sex isn’t necessarily sexier sex but regular exercise such as bicycling definitely offers the cyclist a leg up when it comes to many activities.
So, if bicycling is healthy, safe, sexy, and more thrilling than driving a car why were there only 32 bicycles parked on the University of Southern Maine Campus on such a perfect day? Maybe all the other cyclists were home in the sack trying to find out if more sex is sexier?