Top 5 Things not to be caught with in your dorm room:
1.Your roommate’s boyfriend/girlfriend.
2. A baggie of oregano.
3. Cookware for torching, burning, or smoking previously mentioned oregano.
4. One-handed homework.
5. WMPG’s softball trophy.
Top 5 Things to have in your dorm room:
1. Alarm Clock (in case your roommate doesn’t have one)
2. Clean underwear (out of sight-duh)
3. Emergency candy (something that will help you stay awake as you cram)
4. Paper towels (no, Pepsi does not count as a veneer if you let it soak for a month)
5. Hammer (in case your roommate has an alarm clock)
Top 5 Things people wish they could have in their dorm room:
1. Privacy.
2. Hot, intellectually stimulated (fill in the gender you wish to objectify).
3. WMPG’s softball trophy.
4. A bathroom.
5. Privacy.
Top 5 things not to say to the Feds when pulled over for a search.
1. Warmer… Warmer… Oh, cold… colder!
2. Bomb? Phew, I thought you had found the weed in the trunk.
3. You need my real ID, right?
4. **Censored**
5. My gun is bigger than yours.
Top 5 things to consider when decorating your dorm:
1. The leaning tower of tin cans is not attractive or awe inspiring. Emptying 45 cans of PBR is not performance art.
2. A bong with water in it (although your mother might have fallen for it, we won’t). A bong is not a vase. It is acceptable to call it a paperweight.
3. Lava Lamps: Think hard about this one. How will it fit into your life after graduation? Will you be able to set it free when it becomes time to move on?
4. Velvet posters, in fact posters in general, should be held in suspect. Why not spend the money on a piece of real art? Why have a poster that everybody else has? Commission something unique from a Maine College of Art student.
5. Peace Lilies: This plant is cheap, needs very little light (if your window faces south, put it some place else) and can be abused with out dying. Plus the flowers act as natural air fresheners. It can help remove that smell coming from the bathroom.