What exactly is the economy? And how come it’s doing so badly? I know that those of you majoring in economics could probably help me with these questions, but I want to try to figure this out by myself.
From what I hear it sounds like just about everyone these days has less money. But I don’t see how the whole world could have suddenly gotten poorer. As far as I know, none of the wealth on this planet has taken off into outer space. So it must still be here. So the real question must be, who has it? Whoever it is is being very quiet.
And yet we’re told that the problem is the economy. Things are just bad. It’s like when there’s a big rainstorm when we planned to do something outdoors — we just look up at the sky in dismay and hope for better luck tomorrow. No one’s responsible for this. The forces of nature are just blowing a different way now, and we have to wait around for things to get better. Even if the true answer to our questions is standing right beside us in bright flashing colors, we won’t bring our eyes down to look at it. We must keep our eyes fixed on the sky at all times, waiting for the good times to come down to us from God.
I know it’s rude to ask, but I’ve been wondering: why does our government always have to think of these ingenious, complicated ways to get money to go from one place to another? It’s like we’re building those elaborate mousetraps that Tom used to make to catch Jerry. You know, those ones that took up the whole room and involved various gears, pulleys, water jugs and weights — and by the time the chain reaction got to the actual trap, Jerry had already left with the cheese. When our “economic strategy” fails to get the imaginary engine running again, we just fret and bite our nails, bend over backwards and try building another strategy just as unwieldy.
Economic problems are hard to solve, of course. They’re very complicated and difficult to understand. That’s why people like you and me just can’t grasp it. The only people who can solve these problems are “economic geniuses” like Alan Greenspan who manipulate “monetary policy” and other arcane things using elaborate mathematical formulae. Of course, if the formulae they use included anything involving undue assistance to the poor, these people would be immediately derided as “economic idiots” and thrown out of office.
But there is something we can do for ourselves while these geniuses are working on their potions in Washington, D.C. I’m referring, of course, to education. You’re responsible for bettering yourself to get ahead in society. If everyone went to college, it would certainly help to brighten our prospects in the job market. Once we all have a college degree, we will all be well-paid professionals. We’ll hire Martians to pick up our garbage and cook our hamburgers.
Then again, prayer may be the answer. It doesn’t cost anything, and anyone can do it. Use this time of economic downturn to strengthen your faith. The poorer you get, the deeper you should trust in God to make things better. But even if things don’t improve, you know there’s a reason God wanted you to be poor. It’s a kind of test. Things will be better for you once you’re dead and move on to the next world. And thank you very much for not trying to steal anything in this world while you were here. Good luck, and thanks for visiting.
Brian O’Keefe can be contacted at [email protected]