The political gun control scene has been tied up for years in a constant succession of tie votes and the lengthy recount votes that follow. You are fed up and decide that this time you are going to make a difference just to finally end this grim ordeal.
–If you vote to pass “Gun Control” legislations, progress to paragraph -C-
–If you vote to ban “Gun Control” legislations, progress to paragraph -D-
B- The gun homicide rate grows so large that law enforcement becomes irrelevant. America as a whole collapses into chaos as warring militias take to the streets to defend their home turf from other Americans who hold equal claim to it. The races finally become equal as whites begin to kill whites without hesitation just like they had formerly done only to blacks. Charlton Heston publicly executes Michael Moore in the street and nobody bats an eye. The citizens of the land of the free have become the prey of those same freedoms. There is hell on earth and you have nobody to blame but yourself. Progress to the top of a tall building and please jump.
C- The world becomes a moderately nicer place. Having no other choice, the NRA laments that they are indeed fully capable of defending their homes with small handguns as opposed to assault rifles. Gun homicides drop, as does the rate of gun owners accidentally killed by their own guns. The NYPD still manages to kill unarmed, innocent black men, but are slightly less trigger-happy than they were when semi-automatic weaponry was easier to come by. Homeland security is not compromised in the least, since America’s nuclear arsenal is what is holding enemies at bay, not the weaponry of its eager-to-shoot-foreigners citizens. Put your feet up and enjoy the feeling that you have done something truly positive. Progress to paragraph -E-
D- Nothing in America changes, and that is a very bad thing. The rate of homicides and accidental deaths from guns remains appallingly high. Other countries with sensibly low levels of deaths by firearms continue to sneer at us. Over the years, gun homicide rates in America have continued to rise drastically while in other countries the rates are much lower. The majority of America’s populace finally acknowledges that fact and grows concerned while Charlton Heston and the NRA remain blissfully unaware and continue to insist that Americans NEED semi-automatic weapons. Gun control legislations go into active debates again, but somehow, despite the abundant evidence that America’s firearm homicide rate is out of control, the vote comes up as a tie again.
–If you vote to pass “Gun Control” legislations, progress to paragraph -C-
–If you again vote to ban “Gun Control” legislations, progress to paragraph -B-
E- You have just fixed the first of America’s many, many problems. This is just the beginning of your work, but this taste of how life can be just a little bit better has reinvigorated your companions in office. As other constant issues-the death penalty, abortion, taxes, foreign policy, etc.-storm into open hearings, just imagine all the good you can do. America can be the haven its founders intended it to be, or it can be hell when its policies are reinterpreted by the wrong people. The choice is yours. Do not let me down.
Dan Goldstein can be contacted with [email protected].