Take the Free Press Parking Quiz to see how parking savvy you are!
When students return from winter break some will be busy getting textbooks, setting goals and organizing for their spring semester; others will be circling in their cars around the Portland campus in a total panic because they paid no attention to the construction schedule. The obvious is that the Bedford Street lot will lose 350 spaces, leaving only 175 spaces available for parking. Parking will be tough. People might be a little bitter. The quiz below is designed to give you valuable information to possibly help navigate the parking situation.
1. It’s a new semester. There’s a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and new faces are frolicking to class. You suddenly notice a change on the Portland campus, less parking spaces. What do you do?
A. Drop out of school. I would much rather spend my afternoons soaking up toxic tube waves while enjoying the Jerry Springer show.
B. Never attend classes. I will “attend” class electronically and Blackboard will be my new best amigo.
C. Learn the METRO bus schedule. METRO offers half-price fares for anyone who shows a USM ID. USM will provide free passes for faculty, staff and students who chose to use the METRO from the Park and Ride lots at Pride’s Corner and at the Legion Hall on route 25 in Gorham.
2. You love your car, SUV or truck and can’t bear the thought of not driving it to class is there any chance of you finding a parking space on the Portland campus?
A. Begin living in your vehicle. Now you are the first and last one on campus. Oh yea.
B. All parking lots on the Portland campus will have open parking. This means that faculty and staff lots are fair game for students. It might even give you a real reason to flip off that yucky professor who gave you that not-so-good grade. But of course open parking will be on a first come first serve basis. Sorry, faculty and staff: student lots will remain for students only.
C. Begin parking in random driveways in the Oakdale neighborhood and hope that your class ends before the owners come home for the evening. If not, pretend to be a long lost relative: “What’s for dinner?”
3. After a month of consuming all sorts of yummy holiday goodies, your body is screaming, “I need a walk!” What do you do?
A. Parking away from campus never hurt anyone. USM will have 107 spaces on leased property adjoining the building at 15 Baxter Blvd. A word of caution you might be running not walking, when you have to cross the intersection of Baxter Blvd and Forest Avenue across from the Glickman Library.
B. Stop using vehicles altogether and begin doing your thumb exercises. Who says you can’t get a hitchhiking thumb?
C. Have someone drop you off everyday. You patrol the parking lots looking for the perfectly parked car. Wait until the person arrives, smiling you award the owner with balloons and candy. Thank them for being a straight parker.
4. You live in Gorhamville or any of the other suburbs of Portland and happen to have all your classes in Portland scheduled during the prime time of 10-2 p.m. How do you get to class on time?
A. Say forgetaboutit. If class is so important, shouldn’t it just come to me?
B. Begin a cult that enlightens students to ignore all rules and begin parking on University lawns. You believe that cookies in lawns and dirt are the supreme rulers of this universe.
C. Have the University meet you half way. They have created a satellite lot of 209 spaces at Sam’s Club at the corner of Payne and Gorham Roads in Scarborough. The shuttle bus from Portland to Gorham will happily pick you up and get you to class. Don’t forget about Marginal Way, which is serviced by a shuttle bus every 15 minutes.
5. You make an hour commute to the Portland campus with your trusty pal Mr. or Mrs. Mocha Latte. But you are getting tired of paying for gas, sick of your Monster Love Ballads CD, which skips. You need some tasteful company. What do you do?
A. Start listening to Dr. Phil’s book on tape. You begin a caring campaign called “Realistically, there is no spot for you, but there is a heart.” You soothe and ease the USM community when they are unable to find a parking spot. Within a few months, Dr. Phil reads of your philanthropic actions in THE FREE PRESS. Dr. Phil whisks you away to join his show.
B. Check out the Website www.usm.maine.edu/commuter/transportation. Fill out survey and within a week you find yourself in a carpool or a vanpool. You save on gas and have many wonderful conversations with your new carpool or vanpool friends.
C. Go to your local Video Expo and pick up three inflatable companions. Now your car is always full!
Tally your points!
1. a. 2 b.5 c.10
2. a. 2 b.10 c.5
3. a.10 b.2 c.5
4. a. 5 b.2 c.10
5. a.5 b.10 c.2
If you scored 1-20:
1. You drum to a different beat, and that is how you park. You laugh when you see the signs WE HAVE A SPOT FOR YOU. You aren’t stressed that there are no spots for you, it gives you more of a chance to not go to class.
If you scored 20-30
2. You believe in fate, which is why every day before you enter the Portland campus, you clench your steering wheel and pray: “Mother Cabrini, don’t be a meanie, please find a place for my little machiney.”
If you scored 40-50
3. You are parking genius; you know all the secret spots. Every time you get off one of the shuttle buses or out of your vanpool or carpool you are smiling.
If this hasn’t increased your parking knowledge when worst comes to worst, you can always sell your car to pay off student loans. See you next year!