It’s a universal condition. Psychologists call it “separation anxiety” and it’s easy to forget how overwhelming it can be. Some students get caught up in the excitement of new friends and activities and seem to forget their former lives. Others are excited in the beginning, only to realize a few weeks into the semester that they are starting to miss their familiar surroundings associated with friends and family. Still other students dread their new surroundings from the start and feel sad and miserable for anywhere from a few days to the entire semester! The problem can be even worse for an international or a non-traditional student who may lack the usual support that a traditional age American student has.
People have different tolerance levels for change and have learned different ways of coping with the unfamiliar. Homesickness is a general term that could mean fearing change, feeling sad and vulnerable, being lonely, grieving, or feeling insecure, which could manifest in a drop in self esteem and confidence – like you don’t fit in. Minor problems may seem like catastrophes, leaving you feeling anxious and depressed. Sometimes homesickness can persist and interfere with academic performance, basic functioning and relationships. That’s when one may want to seek out professional help.
There is no easy cure for homesickness but here are some tips to help you through it now or in the future:
-Admit that you have it! Homesickness is a natural reaction to a sense of loss.
-Realize that many other students share similar feelings, even though they may not tell you about it!
-Surround yourself with familiar items from home – photos, plants, a favorite comforter, etc. This can help ease the stress of a new environment.
-Familiarize yourself with your new surroundings. Invite a new friend to walk around campus. You will feel more in control if you know where buildings, classes, and services are.
-Talk with an older friend or sibling who has gone away from home. It takes courage to accept the fact that something is bothering you and to then confront it.
-Remember to get enough food, fluids, exercise, and sleep!
-Get connected. Seek new opportunities. It helps to distract you from your feelings and creates positive reasons for being where you are.
-Keep in touch with people back home, but put a limit on telephoning. Write to friends and family about your new experiences and let them know you’d like to hear from them too!
-Plan a date to go home. This can help to curtail impulsive returns and keeps you focused on your goals.
-Give yourself time to adjust – you don’t have to get used to things right away, nor do you have to rush into making decisions. Overcoming homesickness is a gradual process.
-Do something about it! If you continue to have difficulty and find it hard to function though time has passed, it may be helpful to speak with a trained professional who can help you feel better. Don’t continue to wait for it to go away by itself. Buried problems often emerge later disguised as headaches, fatigue, illness, or lack of motivation.
Homesickness is not unusual and it can be conquered!
Sources:
University of Missouri-Rolla
University of Cambridge
University of Wisconsin – Eau Claire
Santa Clara University
Texas State University – San Marcos