Rain sucks. Well actually, thunderstorms are bad-ass; I should rephrase my distaste for wet weather. I just don’t like the kind of rain we had on Tuesday; the cold, foggy and a little bit windy type. It makes me feel generally soggy.
But on drizzly days if you just sit on your couch and stuff your face with Ho-Ho’s you only feel worse, so I decided to get moving to a place where no leftover Easter candy could hold me hostage. A place where Little Debbie and the Pilsbury Doughboy are banned for life; a place that makes up for gravy-smothered cheese-biscuits with real food.
I’m talking about a little place called O’Naturals. Yeah, O’Naturals, they just opened up a new store in Portland. And in all honesty, there isn’t anything little about the joint. From the high ceilings to their marketing plan, there are big things happening down on Exchange Street these days.
The coolest thing about the space was the vault that was preserved during the reconstruction (years ago, even before F. Parker Reidey’s was there, it was a bank). The vault space has been turned into a playroom full of entertainment for your kiddos. The O’Naturals team has kids covered on the menu, too.
But thanks to my Huggies Pull-Ups, “I’m a big kid now,” so Mom doesn’t order for me anymore. Confronted with this challenge, I perused the menu options and found myself enchanted with all of my choices ranging from the roasted heirloom potatoes to their trademark flatbread sandwiches. If you’re feeling really adventurous, you should try the bison meatloaf – that’s no joke; they ground his wooly ass up and stuck him on some flatbread. I hear it’s delicious, but I like to use my noodle.
My Asian noodle, that is. Oh, yeah baby, I got stir-fry; Chap Chae Korean Noodles with spinach, mushrooms, onions and carrots. And it came on a plate! Wowsa! The noodles themselves were cooked perfectly, which was surprising because cooking pasta for the masses is not an easy trick. The veggies were fresh, fresh, fresh and complimented the flavor of the sesame/ginger/peanut dressing. My only gripe was that it was a little too saucy. It had great flavor, don’t get me wrong, but the sauce per capita knocked the score down a notch.
I tried a side of the potatoes and they were absolutely delicious. I scored a piece of the freshly baked flatbread too, and it was certainly tasty. All and all, pretty good. Not mind-blowing, but I got my food in three minutes and knowing that there were no 10-syllable words in my meal put my mind at ease and encouraged another visit.
Company President Mac McCabe and all of his “Naturalists” are hard at work in a gung-ho attempt to reform the fast-food industry. There are plans in the works to, “take McDonald’s down,” he says. And now, with the appearance of their third store located here in downtown Portland, he’s got Ronald, Grimace and the Hamburgler all crapping their pants. The moment you step foot inside O’Naturals totally organic realm, you may never again want to patron a place where you can Super-Size things. Ever.
The subtle beauty of the d?cor and the appetizing smells wafting my way from the kitchen struck me as soon as I was inside. And when I noticed the main dining room had hard cover books set out for reading, it blew my mind that a business would trust the customer not to steal them. That was pretty cool in my view. There were hardwood tables and chairs, and the giant windows offered a magnificent view of Tommy’s Park. The other dining room had a number of original oriental rugs on the walls and cozy chairs in case your ass bones hurt and you forget your butt-doughnut.
O’Naturals is the new face of fast food and your ugly mug has the first shot at trying it. You will find me going back because it is a company dedicated to doing everything that they do with a conscious respect for the customer and the environment. The “golden rule” has been taken as more than just a mere adage here; it reigns supreme. Mac’s statement to me that, “great customer experience can only ever come from a great employee experience,” showed because my service was undoubtedly an 8 (that’s pretty good for fast food). The ambiance score is a 10 – they nailed it. My food was a 7. The composite score for O’Naturals is an 8.