Opening Day at Hadlock Field didn’t rattle me, crocuses jumping up didn’t shake me, and even the recent appearance of skirts didn’t phase my winter blues. It didn’t really feel like spring until Tuesday. Which made me want to go spring camping. Which made me want to eat Jordan’s “Red Snapper” hot dogs. Which made me go to Vivian’s in Portland. Oooh, baby!
Vivian’s Drive-In was established in Portland over 50 years ago. Despite its longtime existence, to the unwatchful eye one could easily drive past, mistaking it for just another house or maybe a little mom-and-pop store. Do not be deceived, comrades! This is the burger nirvana! This is the place where cows pray to end up–smothered in the goodness of Vivian’s grilled, buttery rolls.
Vivian’s owner, Donna Morgan, says it’s not the rolls that keep ’em coming back, though. She says she’s got third generation customers because of the 95 percent ground sirloin burgers and her “mean” chili. I offer only concurrence on the burger issue; trying the chili is only one of the reasons I want to go back.
I also want to go back because I like how I was treated at Vivian’s. There was no funny business or phony baloney during my transaction. It was just friendly, but direct service, ya’ know? It was, “Hi, what’ll ya’ have? What do you want on it?” There was really no time for anything else; it was busy.
The entire time I was there, cars flew in and out. Some people chose to eat at the counter (there are no seats), but most people grabbed and ran. I went to Evergreen Cemetery to watch the ducks.
The car stopped and I started. Eating that is, and I didn’t stop to breathe until everything was gone. I began the Vivian’s adventure not with the trademark burger but with a hot dog piled high with kraut and mustard. When I bit in, it was like angels descended all around me in a shaft of white light, singing about the glories of bulbous tube steak.
It was cooked perfectly to where it was hot in the middle with grill marks on casing but had not popped yet. See, when hot dogs burst, they loose all their yummy grease in the middle. I won’t worry about that happening at Vivian’s–cholesterol be damned! There was a generous portion of tasty kraut and a perfect amount of mustard. I could still hear those angels singing.
However good the hot dog was, the moment of truth was when I came face to face with the infamous hamburger. And upon first taste, God parted the clouds and rested his hand on my head, saying, “Everything will be all right, my child.” I was hooked on Vivian’s burgers.
I think I would have been hooked regardless of the Almighty’s appearance, because the burger is good, dang ‘nabit. First of all, let me again take a moment to talk about Vivian’s buttery buns. And her burgers are stacked. Cooked perfectly and slathered in gooey cheese with your choice of extras. Who-ah!
After you take a bite, you have to sit and work all the cheese out of your teeth with your tongue for a minute. Then when you squeeze your burger looking at its profile, you see more deliciousness waiting for you. Go get one, silly.
Working Vivian’s into your schedule is easy, but working it into your budget is even easier. A double cheeseburger, bag of chips and a can of soda is still the best deal in town at $3.45. You can’t beat that with a stick. My hot dog, cheeseburger and soda were $4.15 altogether. Wow.
Vivian’s Drive-In is located at 948 Forest Ave. in Portland and open 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Though you must deal with precarious parking for one of these burgers, Vivian’s is a must-see attraction. The food gets a 10. When you walk through the door you will feel like you stepped into a ’50s time warp. Ambience gets a 7. Great service is a solid 9. The composite score for Vivian’s Drive-In is a 9.