The Brides of Destruction were formed by Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx and L.A. Guns guitarist Tracii Guns in 2002 under the provisional name Cockstar (which, personally, I think is a brilliant name for this band).
Their debut studio release, “Here Come the Brides,” came out this year, and as a fan of heavy metal and modern rock, I jumped at the chance to review it.
The Brides are fueled by the same balls-to-the-wall cock rock ethos driving bands like Local H, The Cult and AC/DC. It’s a philosophy that I admit I have a little soft spot (or should I say, a big throbbing hard-on) for.
For the first half of the album, at least, this is music best played at “eleven” while grabbing oneself with one hand and lofting a fist with the other. It’s music that one listens to while pounding one’s buddy’s Pabst and hitting on strange girls in dimly lit bars.
For the first five songs, “Here Come the Brides” is a lot of fun. The first single, “Shut the Fuck Up,” is a fast-moving middle finger to George W. Bush. And the momentum continues through the next two songs. Johnny Rotten’s influence is clearly present in the second track, which to younger listeners will sound like Jet or The Hives. Track three is a moodier, more downtempo number with a heavy metal chorus.
The fourth song, “Two Times Dead,” starts with a classic party rock opener that I couldn’t love more. The heavily distorted main riff plays for a measure while slow and heavy drums accompany. The lead singer, London LeGrand, then kick-starts the song with a hearty grunt. The chorus combines throaty, Marine Corps style vocals with a Metallica-inspired metal sound. It proves to be a compelling and hooky, albeit shallow, contraption.
This album even makes it possible to forget for a moment that last week marked the anniversary, uncannily, of both Jesus’ and Kurt Cobain’s ascent into their respective glories, having died for the hearts and souls of sinners and rockers everywhere and dooming us all with Hearts of Darkness. With the Brides, one remembers again that rock can be fun!
All the elements of a great heavy pop rock album are here, but something is missing. The sixth track of “Here Come the Brides” might provide some insight into the album’s critical weakness. The “woo hoo hoos” and “na na na nas” of “Natural Born Killers” remind us what an anachronism this band is. Maybe the problem is that the members of the band are too over-the-hill and out of touch with the modern rock zeitgeist to resonate in any profound way.
A lot of these guys grew up in the 60s, when doo-wop music was still in recent memory, and they will always be wired to associate that old timey soda-jerk stuff with “fun.” It doesn’t matter how badass they are. It’s a simple matter of age — especially if they give in to the temptation to fall back on that stuff.
“Here Come the Brides” basically does itself in due to this weakness in the sixth and seventh tracks. The Brides make a brief rally with the eighth song, “Revolution,” which is basically some mediocre filler and a respectable chorus. The album ends with a power ballad that’s as derivative as it is dull.