I picked up a comic book from the stack of magazines at the mechanic’s the other day while I was waiting to get my tire changed. It was an old issue of “The Hulk.” The Hulk was being chased by some military troops, and in the course of the comic he used his super strength to save the love of his life and stop a nuclear disaster. It was an enjoyable, though unbelievable, story with all the characteristics of a great comic book: good battling evil, a super hero with known superpowers, an easy to follow storyline and a happy ending.
The creators of the movie “Hellboy” could have learned a lot from my short wait at the mechanic’s.
In the movie, it’s toward the end of World War II, and Nazi wizard Rasputin (Karel Roden) opens a door to another dimension by combining science and magic. His hope: to bring the forces of hell into our world. Before Rasputin can complete his work, paranormal scientist “Broom” Bruttenholm (John Hurt) and a team of American soldiers block his attempt.
Although the Americans shut the porthole before all the forces of hell can come through, Broom finds a baby demon that did manage to sneak through. They name the demon Hellboy, and Broom raises him to become a crime fighting hero.
After fifty years of peace, the Nazi wizard’s lover and top assassin raise Rasputin from the dead using some ancient magic. Now back on Earth, he has one goal: destroy it. It’s up to the hero, Hellboy, to stop him.
Unlike other recent comic book movies like “X-men” and “Spiderman,” this story is unfamiliar and hard to follow. Hellboy’s powers are not clear to the audience — but more importantly, his weaknesses are unclear. It’s not like watching a Superman movie, where you know that kryptonite will destroy him. Hellboy seems to have no weakness.
The hero’s superpowers are ambiguous. You can never guess what Hellboy will do to get out of a jam. During every fight, he seems to use a new kind of super strength, along with a gun, to fight his enemies.
Still, the character of Hellboy is kind of interesting. One thing you do learn is that he ages much slower than humans. After fifty years, he is still an adolescent. This makes him sort of the class clown of super heroes, always with some witty remark to make.
Although most of the acting in this movie is poor, Ron Perlman portrays Hellboy in a very amusing way even while he is fighting the forces of hell. In some ways, I think that Hellboy would make a better sidekick than a lead super hero. He is funny and colorful, but not serious enough to command the lead. The character really only takes the lead near the end of the movie.
Compared to other recent comic book movies, “Hellboy” falls way behind. The special effects are not nearly as developed as in “Spiderman.” The fight scenes are not half as intense or well choreographed as in “X-Men,” and many of them seem to be stolen from other movies. Parts of a subway station fight between Hellboy and an ancient monster reminded me of a scene from the first “Matrix,” though the special effects were not as exciting.
You would think that a movie about a comic book would be a match made in heaven for Hollywood producers. Both Hollywood movies and comic books usually have the same lack of insight into the human experience. But with an unfamiliar story, little excitement from special effects and poor acting, “Hellboy” is not worth your time.
Michael McAllister can be contacted at [email protected]